Dear Santa,
All I wanted for Christmas was for my kids to get along.
Instead the pressure got to all of us. The stress and sleep deprivation of the holidays has worn a hole in my patience level. I find myself standing there while my 6 year old is screaming and kicking at me because I asked her to smile for a picture. My 16 and 13 year old daughters are in a heated brawl about borrowing clothes with each other, and my 12 year old son was poking my 6 year old, making matters worse.
All around me the turmoil is thickening. I try to count to three and think ok ok, talk to them calmly. My husband just lays there snoozing on the couch. Which makes me even more in the mood to just stuff my head in a pillow and scream, or pour ice cold water on him. I make a decision to give myself a timeout and head for my room. This doesn't work, they just seem to be following me and the volume of the high pitched adolescent screams seem to be echoing through the halls . In this moment I realize that I feel completely alone. Doesn't anyone understand that my hearing is going to go out before age 45 if my girls keep this up!?(I yell this in my head to myself) Its funny, I realize I have gotten so used to my kids screaming at each other that I am only worried about my hearing..lol...Will the screaming ever stop?
There is a few choices I have. I can put the younger ones in time out, or take away tv or toys, then talk to them. The older ones I can talk to and take away cell phones. Hmmmm...or I can just try and relax and give them some time to work it out with each other. The older girls are the same size I don't think they can hurt each other too bad. The 12 year old boy is just bored, so I can quickly think of something for him to do. It's Christmas, I think. Let it go...I turn to my six year old and say, "I need a hug." She instantly stops and comes and gives me a hug and sits on my lap. I look at the time and realize its time to leave to go to Christmas dinner at a friends house. I tell my six year old to get shoes on, and tell my son to let the dog out. Then I go and find my 16 and 13 year old. They are by this time, yelling at each other and saying they hate each other. I pull myself together and calmly and firmly tell them to get in the car. They go grudgingly one holding back, until the other one is out the door.
Finally after waking my husband up, we find ourselves out in the car. Its very quiet. I turn around to see my 6 year old fast asleep. The other 3 kids sitting and staring out their windows.
It's interesting how just a change of scenery really had changed the mood of my children. When only a few minutes before they were going completely berserk. I forgot about this method.
Soon after we arrived at our friends house, my girls were best friends again and acted as if the fight had never occurred. My other two kids were happily playing with Legos, and their friend that we were visiting.
I took a deep breathe and finally got a chance to relax.
Oh Santa Claus...Thanks for the good friends that had us over for dinner.
Sincerely, M
All I wanted for Christmas was for my kids to get along.
Instead the pressure got to all of us. The stress and sleep deprivation of the holidays has worn a hole in my patience level. I find myself standing there while my 6 year old is screaming and kicking at me because I asked her to smile for a picture. My 16 and 13 year old daughters are in a heated brawl about borrowing clothes with each other, and my 12 year old son was poking my 6 year old, making matters worse.
All around me the turmoil is thickening. I try to count to three and think ok ok, talk to them calmly. My husband just lays there snoozing on the couch. Which makes me even more in the mood to just stuff my head in a pillow and scream, or pour ice cold water on him. I make a decision to give myself a timeout and head for my room. This doesn't work, they just seem to be following me and the volume of the high pitched adolescent screams seem to be echoing through the halls . In this moment I realize that I feel completely alone. Doesn't anyone understand that my hearing is going to go out before age 45 if my girls keep this up!?(I yell this in my head to myself) Its funny, I realize I have gotten so used to my kids screaming at each other that I am only worried about my hearing..lol...Will the screaming ever stop?
There is a few choices I have. I can put the younger ones in time out, or take away tv or toys, then talk to them. The older ones I can talk to and take away cell phones. Hmmmm...or I can just try and relax and give them some time to work it out with each other. The older girls are the same size I don't think they can hurt each other too bad. The 12 year old boy is just bored, so I can quickly think of something for him to do. It's Christmas, I think. Let it go...I turn to my six year old and say, "I need a hug." She instantly stops and comes and gives me a hug and sits on my lap. I look at the time and realize its time to leave to go to Christmas dinner at a friends house. I tell my six year old to get shoes on, and tell my son to let the dog out. Then I go and find my 16 and 13 year old. They are by this time, yelling at each other and saying they hate each other. I pull myself together and calmly and firmly tell them to get in the car. They go grudgingly one holding back, until the other one is out the door.
Finally after waking my husband up, we find ourselves out in the car. Its very quiet. I turn around to see my 6 year old fast asleep. The other 3 kids sitting and staring out their windows.
It's interesting how just a change of scenery really had changed the mood of my children. When only a few minutes before they were going completely berserk. I forgot about this method.
Soon after we arrived at our friends house, my girls were best friends again and acted as if the fight had never occurred. My other two kids were happily playing with Legos, and their friend that we were visiting.
I took a deep breathe and finally got a chance to relax.
Oh Santa Claus...Thanks for the good friends that had us over for dinner.
Sincerely, M
5 comments:
You are not alone M. I am sure millions of women went through this at the exact same time as you. Unfortunately we feel alone. Not sure why when we have many a friend or family member we could call who would understand. Maybe it's the thought that this couldn't possibly happen to anyone else, That I have created my situation and must suffer alone. But remember those who love you will understand that when you do seek us out it is often when you need us the most. When you feel you can't call is when you really should. K
Mine wasn't yelling or fighting. It was building this holiday up into something so magical the I was bound to feel let down. Lesson learned AGAIN
10 years from now you will only remember the good times. Your Kids will all be friends and they will miss each other and you will miss them. They will be able to deal with problems and friction in their world because of dealing with with their siblings when young. Be glad they don't hold their anger inside,this causes way more problems later. At some point in all our lives, we have to deal with anger. Be happy it won't be on their first job or with their first love.pit
My problem wasn't kids fighting or anything but that I had built up this holiday into something magical that was impossible to attain. Lesson learned AGAIN
anytime you need a change of venue, we are here.
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