What do I want to be when I grow up ?

What do I want to be when I grow up?
Does your job define who you are?

I was brought into this world by a woman who harvested only children with a serious work ethic. I had no choice, it is ingrained in my head.
 
This weekend I began a new journey as I have done many times before.
I had stressed out for weeks to get it all together just right. I hardly could sleep, I ruined my diet that I recently lost almost 9 pounds on, In turn, I  exercised obsessionally to try and counteract the horrible eating habits. In the midst of trying to calm the nerves, I  tinkered in trying to organize junk in my house only to sink to depression that stopped me in my tracks on how much needs to actually be done. Looking in the mirror I swear I saw three new white hairs emerging out of my head.

With saying all this I am wondering?....Is this all worth it?.... the stress and pressure? To try and put myself out there back into the working world again? Is it sane to say that with having four children I have actually already decided what I wanted to do when I grow up? I only have a few more years and moments with my children and then they are grown. Won't I have plenty of time to start again, when they are out there into their own lives away from home?

 As I have surveyed the destruction of the family unit: The messy messy house, the never ending to do list, the slammed schedule on my calendar, the list of volunteer expectations for my children's activities, the lost time with my children and my husband,  the missing spaces of time to spend with friends, and my sanity. I wondered....and I wondered... when my almost 17 year old approached me this weekend with a phrase of utter disgust that I was really going to work again...she exclaimed," Why mommy are you doing this anyway? I hate it when you are working!" I walked away with wonderment with a nagging voice in my head that rang loudly. Did I not already choose to be a mother? Is this not working hard enough?

Verona, Italy

As we biked along the paths there was vineyards as far as the eyes could see. We stayed in a bed and breakfast named Ca Maddalena. It was a small Villa about 10 miles outside of Verona. It was near the town of VillaFranca. Here we found ourselves in a small paradise.

If you look close at this photo you will see a group of Italian teenage boys
in the back left corner that showed up soon after my two daughters arrived.
The owners had a teenage son that was very helpful, and was always
 right there when we needed something.

Finally we had found a place that was sheer relaxation on the trip.

My oldest daughter exclaimed,
"This is what a vacation should be like."

The Villa's patio

We had a suite that had beds
 for 10 people.

It was very cozy.

Omi and Opa catching a sweet break

After a  few hours of rest we headed into the city of Verona

One of the first stops that was a must see was Guilietta's (Juliet's) house
Verona is known for the story of Romeo and Juliet. There is a legend  that if you leave
a note about Love for Juliet she will answer. This has been going on for years. In fact there even is a website where you can write a letter on Juliet's virtual wall if you can't make it out to visit Verona. People come to tell their stories of lost love or put notes up of wishes of love. I also found another site here.

Juliet's balcony

They say, if you touch Juliet's mammella you will return to Verona.

My daughters each
left a note for Juliet.

The Roman amphitheater "Arena di Verona" 

is still in use today. As we walked around it you could see the props that they used for plays, rock concerts and operas. 

Uhh...?.ordered a pizza with potato and spinach and
got a pizza with fries, corn, and spinach.

Delicious cheese. Simplicity.

Must have Gelato, while in Italy

Verona seemed to come alive at night. You had the feeling of euphoria
being there. The buildings were structurally amazing and intricate, castle like.
The whole city was lit up and glowing. One of my daughters who hates big cities
commented that she could see herself actually living in Verona.
The city felt safe and comfortable even at night.  

Piazza delle Erbe

The Pointe Scaligero, completed in 1356

This was the entrance to Verona

Verona so far, is one of my favorite cities in Italy.
It is up there with Venice and Varenna.

There is a whimsical feel about Verona, and we all just felt comfortable there.