A trip with teens

I haven't posted a new blog since we left Austria because I am traveling with teens.
After being out all day exploring, on the way back to the hotel they are arguing on who gets to use the laptop first. It has became an obsession for all of them. They are far away from home yet they want to be home. They want to be able to swim in the Mediterranean Sea and walk the coastal towns yet pretend that they are just at home.

So as it goes they come back after being out and first thing head for my laptop. I tell them it needs to be a short time each and that I would like a turn too. After three of them have skyped, emailed and facebooked I am too tired to have my turn. Last night after walking through Rome all day my legs and feet were so tired that when I finally sat down I did not want to move. So here I am 7am before my children are awake, getting "my turn" finally.

All I can say is that traveling with teens has rewards and it has shortcomings. Its not the way it used to be when they were younger. We now have 3 extra very strong opinions on what our plan is for the day. Just even only a year ago I have fond memories of a trip that was not argued about or commented on. We went out for the day and there was joy and celebration. They fought with each other yet it only lasted a few minutes. Now a tiff seems to go on and on and (on).... for days.

Its been challenging this trip to make everyone happy.
Although, it is easier now traveling with them in the sense of getting packed and each of them taking care of themselves. Although some days still I hear my name echoing over and over with questions and concerns.

I really am not complaining. I  know that I need to hold on to these moments no matter how stressful or how intriguing they may be. My children are almost grown and I just have to accept this.

By the sea at Les Saint Maries de la mer, France

The walls of Girona, Spain

At dinner Les Saint Maries de la mer, France

Following behind and scaling the walls in Girona, Spain

Sunset dance Girona, Spain

My oldest contemplating living in Spain

Swimming the Mediterranean sea

In front of the Colosseum in Rome, Italy (Lovely man photo bombing us with his umbrellas)

In front of Vatican city

Saint Aygulf, France









In the sea in Cannes, France

My mom and I in Saint Aygulf, France (The brave Grammy coming on this trip..lol..)

The Colosseum on 4th of July!  Rome, Italy

Graz, Austria

When I think of Austria, I almost think of coming home again.
For several years since I have been married to my husband we have traveled here to visit with his family. I love the moment of driving into the city of Graz and getting that feeling of familiarity and feeling an instant joy about seeing loved ones. I see the excitement in my 6 year olds eyes of the anticipation of seeing her beloved cousins and I feel myself breathe a sigh of instant contentment with the thought of a relaxing vacation.

Our journey begins here....

Tradition is to go to the outdoor market in downtown Graz.
 We have our favorite items that we always get.

The hills are alive......<3 <3 <3 <3

A visit with family

time

Cousins :))

JoY!

I love how it can be a year since these cousins have seen each other,
and they seem to just have seen each other yesterday.

 

Quality time with Grammy

Zotter chocoloate factory...We have to go everytime we visit family in Graz.

We are holding up our tasting spoons :))..yum

All suited up for the Kletterpark

To scan or Not to scan

This is the question.

The day we headed for the plane I hadn't really given too much thought about being asked to step into the scanner. In the past 5 years of international travel I have never really even been pulled aside. I had to get rid of a water bottle once because I forgot I left it in my bag  (if this counts)

My husband has had to think about the subject more recently when he has made a choice to use an insulin pump. His doctor told him under any circumstance that he was NOT to go into the full body scanner in the airport. The scanner would destroy the pump.

So he knew going in.... that if it came down to it,........ he had to be patted down.

We all knew it was his fate since on every trip we have gone on, without fail, he has been pulled aside and questioned, or they would rummage through his bag. It has became such a regular thing that I even plan extra time ahead of time, just to make sure we don't miss our plane.

So when I found myself at the security gate and got a finger pointed at me to go through  the full body scanner, I suddenly had to make a choice. I looked at my husband and he, like clockwork, was also asked to step aside.

I quickly without thought said, "No" "I don't want to go through the scanner."
In my mind I thought," how bad could a quick pat down be?" My husband has to do it, and ultimately I remember reading that its really your  "own" choice.

Wasn't I in for a surprise. Then  I found myself waiting behind the gate for 10 minutes while they searched to find someone to do the pat down {Thank goodness! my mother is with us on this trip and waited with my children on the other side of the line} Although they did get to see a show as this woman patted me down and whispered in my ear.

It really was creepy. She started at the top of my head and went all the way down my body. She even rubbed my bare arms to my finger tips, squeezing the end of my fingers (do people hide stuff under their skin?) Then of course she did the rest of my body.and all the while was whispering in my ear and asking me over and over," why didn't I just want to go through the scanner?" and  stating that, "You know, you get more radiation riding on the plane that you are about to go on."

This all (by the way) was in perfect view of my 4 children. They all stared in horror (not because their mother was being patted down) but because.... they expressed later that...."Why was " I"... so stupid to pick being patted down?"  Was she crazy? (well at least this was what I heard from my two teenage daughters.) My six year old and my twelve year old son might of actually been damaged by the scene.       

It wouldn't have been that bad if the woman had just patted me down and got it over with. I felt completely violated more by the way the woman had talked to me. I didn't need a lady whispering in my ear and telling me her opinion. Isn't it up to me to decide whether I want to be exposed to just a little more radiation? Logically for me, if they don't let children go through, or an insulin pump would be ruined.....Then the scanner must cause some damage?

 I speak very clear about this opinion.(and of course it is my body)
In my opinion, every little bit adds up in every situation. If I don't want to be exposed..... no matter how small amount of radiation it is...... I shouldn't have to go through...right?

I would love to hear your opinions,( And please don't whisper them in my ear...lol)


P.S. When talking to my husband,  I found out that the man that patted him down didn't whisper in his ear.

Trip Itinerary 2012

Day 1-3:  Graz, Austria

Day 4: Stay in Cavallino Treporti, visit Venice, Italy

Day 5: Genoa, Italy

Day 6: Drive and stop in Cannes, Monaco, Nice,
            stay in Saint Aygulf, France

Day 7: Stop in Marseille, stay at Les Sainte Maries de la Mer, France

Day 8: Stop in Roses, Figueres, stay in Girona, Spain

Day 9-10: Barcelona, Spain

Day 11: Ferry cruise to Civitavecchia

Day 12-13: Drive from Civitavecchia to Rome, Italy, stay in Rome

Day 14-20: Rimini, Italy

Day 21-27: Rab, Croatia

Day 28: Drive through Slovenia, stop in Trieste, stay in Graz, Austria

Day 29-30: Graz, Austria

8 years................

On  Cinco de Mayo eight years ago I had my first date with a tall good looking man, that I thought would never call me.

I remember him smiling at me as we danced around the dance floor.
When the music stopped everyone went to the side to take a break and he came over to talk to me.

I had been on several dates since my divorce, and met many nice guys. Most of them ran away in the opposite direction when they found out.... in fact, (that yes) I actually have kids.

I think the thought must have crossed his mind.
After we met, it took him two weeks to find my phone number. I know it takes real courage to even date a girl with 3 kids.  I know most of his friends thought he was crazy. I'm so glad he is stubborn enough... (in a good way) to not listen to them. Maybe he knew from the beginning that this was the commencement of  the start of a new life.

I remember the night well...... I met him for coffee...............We asked each other question after question and just talked into the night. I immediately felt completely comfortable with him, as if we had known each other our whole lives.

After that, we saw each other once a week until one day a friend nudged me and said,  " Don't you think you should give that poor boy more of your time?"

With that..................... the rest is history :))

I Love you! G....Thank you......... for the last eight years. I know I am so blessed to have you in my life. It hasn't always been easy, but I  know we are in this together for the long haul, and  I look forward to many more years and adventures with you. XOXO  Love, M

We are not alone

On the contrary to popular belief, we are not alone.
These are the only words I can fathom to communicate
when it comes to raising my children.

I have always wanted the best for my children. I have been beginning to realize that this is completely out of my control. I can raise them with the best intentions in mind. Moral values, self sufficiency, compassion, love.

I can  even educate them to the best of my knowledge about the world. There is just something I never thought of. Or maybe I have, its just blaring in my face lately.

This is .....I can't control the environment around them. I can't control the people they may meet. Or the way people are going to respond to them. I can't fill the void of decisions that another person can make for my child in school or work or even play.

We are all walking around with the assumption that we are all alone,
when really in my opinion we are anything but.

Food: Best friend/Worst enemy

For the last 17 years I have found myself in a fight against food.

It began with my first pregnancy 17 years ago and has seen no end.
I used to be able to eat what ever I wanted and never gain a pound.
Thus, since having children and getting older, I have noticed  that this isn't the case anymore. It feels like its  been a battle with my body as my weight has gone up and down and up and down. There had been times when I looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize myself underneath the double chin and blubber.

My problem is....... and very clearly.
That simply, I love food.

Also, that every time I stress out, I love it even more. It gives me comfort when I am sad or depressed. It calms me down when I am stressed out.

Do I have an unhealthy relationship with food? Am I codependent on food ? Do I love it too much? Is it the shoulder that I cry on and attach myself to when I need something? This realization has kept me up at night. So much that I have turned a corner and decided to focus my energy on something else...... Sorry..... food!, but you have just gone down on my list.

Lately I have been trying to focus these feelings on exercising. Trading food for working out.

It all makes my head spin. All the rules that I have to follow now that my body has gotten so stubborn in its older state. When you work out. You need to eat healthy and just enough. If you don't eat enough while working out, your body goes into starvation mode and you hold onto it and you wont lose weight. So its a major balancing act with your body on how much food to eat while exercising. Another factor is the kind of food you eat. There now is so many opinions out there about what to eat, and what not to eat. I have a hard time figuring out what to eat..lol.......I have been trying to stick to the least processed foods, and more fruit and vegetables.

There also is the facts out there about food being your best friend or worst enemy.
Depending on what you eat, food can be an enemy to your body and make you sick and unhealthy, or it can be your best friend and push away disease and give you a healthy body.

Its strange to realize that food has such an impact on my life. Maybe I need to break up with food. Find the right ones. Spend time with food in moderation. Not obsess about food. Stop calling food. Only talk to food on very special terms. And make food my friend again.:))

What do I want to be when I grow up ?

What do I want to be when I grow up?
Does your job define who you are?

I was brought into this world by a woman who harvested only children with a serious work ethic. I had no choice, it is ingrained in my head.
 
This weekend I began a new journey as I have done many times before.
I had stressed out for weeks to get it all together just right. I hardly could sleep, I ruined my diet that I recently lost almost 9 pounds on, In turn, I  exercised obsessionally to try and counteract the horrible eating habits. In the midst of trying to calm the nerves, I  tinkered in trying to organize junk in my house only to sink to depression that stopped me in my tracks on how much needs to actually be done. Looking in the mirror I swear I saw three new white hairs emerging out of my head.

With saying all this I am wondering?....Is this all worth it?.... the stress and pressure? To try and put myself out there back into the working world again? Is it sane to say that with having four children I have actually already decided what I wanted to do when I grow up? I only have a few more years and moments with my children and then they are grown. Won't I have plenty of time to start again, when they are out there into their own lives away from home?

 As I have surveyed the destruction of the family unit: The messy messy house, the never ending to do list, the slammed schedule on my calendar, the list of volunteer expectations for my children's activities, the lost time with my children and my husband,  the missing spaces of time to spend with friends, and my sanity. I wondered....and I wondered... when my almost 17 year old approached me this weekend with a phrase of utter disgust that I was really going to work again...she exclaimed," Why mommy are you doing this anyway? I hate it when you are working!" I walked away with wonderment with a nagging voice in my head that rang loudly. Did I not already choose to be a mother? Is this not working hard enough?

Verona, Italy

As we biked along the paths there was vineyards as far as the eyes could see. We stayed in a bed and breakfast named Ca Maddalena. It was a small Villa about 10 miles outside of Verona. It was near the town of VillaFranca. Here we found ourselves in a small paradise.

If you look close at this photo you will see a group of Italian teenage boys
in the back left corner that showed up soon after my two daughters arrived.
The owners had a teenage son that was very helpful, and was always
 right there when we needed something.

Finally we had found a place that was sheer relaxation on the trip.

My oldest daughter exclaimed,
"This is what a vacation should be like."

The Villa's patio

We had a suite that had beds
 for 10 people.

It was very cozy.

Omi and Opa catching a sweet break

After a  few hours of rest we headed into the city of Verona

One of the first stops that was a must see was Guilietta's (Juliet's) house
Verona is known for the story of Romeo and Juliet. There is a legend  that if you leave
a note about Love for Juliet she will answer. This has been going on for years. In fact there even is a website where you can write a letter on Juliet's virtual wall if you can't make it out to visit Verona. People come to tell their stories of lost love or put notes up of wishes of love. I also found another site here.

Juliet's balcony

They say, if you touch Juliet's mammella you will return to Verona.

My daughters each
left a note for Juliet.

The Roman amphitheater "Arena di Verona" 

is still in use today. As we walked around it you could see the props that they used for plays, rock concerts and operas. 

Uhh...?.ordered a pizza with potato and spinach and
got a pizza with fries, corn, and spinach.

Delicious cheese. Simplicity.

Must have Gelato, while in Italy

Verona seemed to come alive at night. You had the feeling of euphoria
being there. The buildings were structurally amazing and intricate, castle like.
The whole city was lit up and glowing. One of my daughters who hates big cities
commented that she could see herself actually living in Verona.
The city felt safe and comfortable even at night.  

Piazza delle Erbe

The Pointe Scaligero, completed in 1356

This was the entrance to Verona

Verona so far, is one of my favorite cities in Italy.
It is up there with Venice and Varenna.

There is a whimsical feel about Verona, and we all just felt comfortable there.