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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

We are not alone

On the contrary to popular belief, we are not alone.
These are the only words I can fathom to communicate
when it comes to raising my children.

I have always wanted the best for my children. I have been beginning to realize that this is completely out of my control. I can raise them with the best intentions in mind. Moral values, self sufficiency, compassion, love.

I can  even educate them to the best of my knowledge about the world. There is just something I never thought of. Or maybe I have, its just blaring in my face lately.

This is .....I can't control the environment around them. I can't control the people they may meet. Or the way people are going to respond to them. I can't fill the void of decisions that another person can make for my child in school or work or even play.

We are all walking around with the assumption that we are all alone,
when really in my opinion we are anything but.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Food: Best friend/Worst enemy

For the last 17 years I have found myself in a fight against food.

It began with my first pregnancy 17 years ago and has seen no end.
I used to be able to eat what ever I wanted and never gain a pound.
Thus, since having children and getting older, I have noticed  that this isn't the case anymore. It feels like its  been a battle with my body as my weight has gone up and down and up and down. There had been times when I looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize myself underneath the double chin and blubber.

My problem is....... and very clearly.
That simply, I love food.

Also, that every time I stress out, I love it even more. It gives me comfort when I am sad or depressed. It calms me down when I am stressed out.

Do I have an unhealthy relationship with food? Am I codependent on food ? Do I love it too much? Is it the shoulder that I cry on and attach myself to when I need something? This realization has kept me up at night. So much that I have turned a corner and decided to focus my energy on something else...... Sorry..... food!, but you have just gone down on my list.

Lately I have been trying to focus these feelings on exercising. Trading food for working out.

It all makes my head spin. All the rules that I have to follow now that my body has gotten so stubborn in its older state. When you work out. You need to eat healthy and just enough. If you don't eat enough while working out, your body goes into starvation mode and you hold onto it and you wont lose weight. So its a major balancing act with your body on how much food to eat while exercising. Another factor is the kind of food you eat. There now is so many opinions out there about what to eat, and what not to eat. I have a hard time figuring out what to have been trying to stick to the least processed foods, and more fruit and vegetables.

There also is the facts out there about food being your best friend or worst enemy.
Depending on what you eat, food can be an enemy to your body and make you sick and unhealthy, or it can be your best friend and push away disease and give you a healthy body.

Its strange to realize that food has such an impact on my life. Maybe I need to break up with food. Find the right ones. Spend time with food in moderation. Not obsess about food. Stop calling food. Only talk to food on very special terms. And make food my friend again.:))